The Force is strong with this one

Last month, I thought I'd start a Christmas tradition by watching The Star Wars Holiday Special with my son.

So I put it on, with Brody sitting next to me. He sat patiently and watched the opening credits, and the extended Chewbacca's family scene that has nearly no dialogue.

But just after the painful cooking show segment with Harvey Korman, Brody stood up, looked at me, and said (a touch patronizingly), "Dad, I think that's enough."

And he went to go play with his trains.

Oh well.

Hot Nuts?

Catchy little ditty, ain't it?

From the beating a dead horse department...

My pal Karyne (who has red hair, so I tease her and call her Ginger) and I got on the subject of the "Don't tase me, bro!" guy. Here's a nifty remix of the pertinent part, set to a snappy beat:



Somehow, it evolved into a contest to see who could come up with as many lame parodies as possible.

It started clever enough. For us, anyway. I asked her if at some point, she'd go to Walgreen's for a candy run. She said maybe, and I replied with "Don't tease me."

Ginger: don't tease me, bro

Jeff: I want to draw of a picture of a Klingon on his knees with his hands up, while Kirk and Spock are aiming their phasers at him. "Don't phase me, bro!"

Ginger: heh

Jeff: or a college freshman: "Don't haze me, bro!"

Ginger: or a cinnamon bun: don't glaze me, bro

Jeff: i've seen that with a donut

Jeff: Someone who works for a nonprofit: Don't pays me, bro!

Ginger: or a building: don't raize me, bro

Jeff: a flower

Jeff: don't vase me, bro

I should point out that this was over the course of the day--we were actually working as well. Honest.

Then at one point, it got goofy.

Jeff: Broken video game sign: Don't plays me, bro!

Ginger: jewelry: don't appraise me, bro

Jeff: Jennifer Grey: Don't Swayze me, bro! **artistic license**

Ginger: king kong: don't fay wrays me, bro

Jeff: Ballerina: don't plies me, bro!

Jeff: Crowd to cheerleader: Don't "Ready, OKs" me, bro!

Ginger: mom to teenager: don't "anyways" me, bro

Jeff: Joint to stoner: Don't blaze me, bro!

Ginger: agent to bruce willis: don't yippee-ki-yays me, bro

Jeff: Miss Piggy to Kermit: Don't yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays me, bro

Jeff: Dumb Donald to Fat Albert: Don't "Hey, hey, heys" me, bro!

Then somehow I managed to get all kinds of historical:

Jeff: Samuel Tilden: Don't Rutherford B. Hayes me, bro!

That's funnier if you look up Rutherford Hayes on Wikipedia or something.

Not much, but we passed funny long ago, didn't we?

After that, we got punchy.

Jeff: Edith to Archie Bunker: Don't "Those Were the Days" me, bro

Jeff: Kitten in cardboard box before being dumped in the middle of nowhere: Don't strays me, bro!

Jeff: HMS Titanic to engineers: Don't raise me, bro!

Jeff: Critic to Sandra Bullock: Don't "28 Days" me, bro

Ginger: metropolis to superman: don't up, up, and aways me, bro

How much sadder could we get?

Well, by the time I tried "Environmentalist to McDonald's in the late 1980s:
Don't Styrofoam trays me, bro!" we knew that we had officially stomped the life out of this particular meme.

Oh, except for the neat LOLcat I submitted to I Can Has Cheezburger?:


moar funny pictures

Click on it and vote the hell out of it, and I might make the main page. I should get something out of wasting this much brain power.

Guitar Hero side-effects

I've played a bunch of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and I've noticed a few things.

1) That weird vertigoey feeling you get when you've been playing for a while (say, a week or two, straight) and you look away from the screen. Everything seems to be moving away from you--almost like going into a wormhole or something.

2) Self-consciousness about rocking too hard. Sure, you want to do well, but at what point do you cross the line from keeping up with the notes to Pete Townshend windmills at the end of your song?

3) That brief feeling of apprehension you get when you hear a song from the game out in the real world. For just a second, your hands tense up, trying to make sure your fingers are in the right place.

Or maybe it's just me.

My commute...and welcome to it

This is what I hear in my head when I drive to BART every morning:

LOLRamona, part 2

That Sounds Familiar!

Today's entries into That Sounds Familiar are two songs that occupy a permanent spot in my brain's song rotation.

They don't really sound alike but for the same chord progression. So just to be weird, I like to sing the chorus of the older song during the chorus of the newer song.

And my wife already knows I'm a big, big freak, so I don't have to worry about looking weird when I do it.

First song: "Atlantis," by Donovan


My parents had this album, and they played it a lot when I was a kid. I liked the song fine enough, but the talking at the beginning bored me to tears. I already knew what happened to Atlantis. I read Aquaman, didn't I?

Donovan already got points with me for naming dropping Superman and Green Lantern in one of his other songs, so I sat through the talking.

Second song: Damn Good Times, by They Might Be Giants



I love They Might Be Giants. Love. Thanks to Here Come the ABCs, my son loves them, too. I can't wait for Here Come The 123s, which comes out next month.

I stumbled on to this when I was putzing around on the guitar trying to pick out the chords. Once I had the chord progression, I thought it sounded familiar. I started playing it slowly, and then I had it.

I should also mention that there is a really cool book by Tim English, called "Sounds Like Teen Spirit." Since this is a subject that I've been interested in for a long time, I was happy to get it for Christmas. If you like this kind of thing, I recommend you pick it up; it's a great read.

It also limits what I will cover with this feature, but that's OK; Tim is more thorough and informative.