Happy Mother's Day, you mothers...

This post is dedicated to all you mothers out there. And since I'm spending time with my kids' mother, I'm reposting something I wrote two years ago. Ah, youth...

This Mother's Day, I made a shocking discovery about mothers. They're like superheroes. No capes or anything like that, but they have amazing powers and abilities that you don't realize until you start thinking about it.

Their hugs can soothe wounds both physical and mental (except maybe severed limbs, but they'll try).

They can alter the flow of time in a fashion that seems to defy the laws of physics, such as when you mention that you're supposed to bring cupcakes for the whole class that day, and you're supposed to leave for school in 5 minutes.

Their saliva is a powerful solvent applied by thumb that can remove dirt from just about any child's face.

They possess seemingly infinite patience, even when faced with children who chase the cat so relentlessly that it poops on the wall in the hallway.

Heightened senses that would put Daredevil to shame (they can tell if you roll your eyes at them, even when they're not looking at you).

I can't imagine anyone more grateful for moms than children, with the possible exception of Hallmark. And See's.

Happy Mother's Day, yo.

Thoughts on time travel

I often felt growing up that I lived in the wrong time. I either felt that I should've been born sooner or much later.

So if you wondered if the Jeff of yesteryear were magically transported to the present day what I'd likely be up to, here's a video that is a pretty good approximation.

I hope you enjoy it; it's more of the highbrow humor we feature so often on this blog.

Get yourself in the right frame of mind

Ever wonder what songs you should listen to to fully get that Siftin' experience? Wonder no more, true believers! You can now listen to the Siftin' Official Motion Picture Soundtrack, which has taken the form of a muxtape.

Make with the clicky and read this blog the way God intended.

Savoir Faire is everywhere

A lot of people remember Underdog, what what about all the other cartoon segments in the syndication package? If you remember all of these, congratulations--you are as sad and pathetic as I am.

Catching up

Sometimes I love the Internet. I mean, aside from sucking time from me by teasing me with funny pictures of cats or openings to old TV shows, it actually is kinda useful every now and then.

For example, without the Internet, there's a very good chance that I would not have had lunch today with a former teacher of mine.

But the Internet does exist, so that's what I did today. It was awesome to see my teacher again after over 20 years. Lest you think I'm super ancient, I should point out that he was my sixth- and seventh-grade teacher.

We talked about stuff that happened back then; various field trips that went mildly awry (at least one of those trips is a post in itself), former classmates, stuff like that.

In our initial contact, I apologized for being such a pain in the ass as a kid; he graciously told me that wasn't necessary. It was; I was awful. Thankfully in the 20-odd years since then I've become much better.

Or something.

We also caught up on what we're up to now and stuff like that. It was really cool; it's not something you expect to do all that often, just because people move away, etc, but it's nice that it does happen.

Noonynoonynoonynoo...

Sometimes you don't realize how things stick with you after a kajillion years. Every now and then, I'll find out that a saying that I use with alarming frequency is in fact, a remnant from an old TV show or movie.

Here's a playlist that features the sound I still make when I'm going over notes or looking for something.

That would be a great name for a band...

I think I came up with at least a half-dozen names for a band every week during my scholastic career, judging from the margins in my notes.

Undead Leather, Temporary Irregularity, The Traveling Dingleberries, all of these were possibilities should I develop talent and start up a band.

The thing is, I still think of names that would make for some pretty kickass album covers. I try to write them down if possible, since my short-term memory is so bad.

Plus, my short-term memory is pretty bad.

Just the other day, I thought Pubic Zirconium would be a good name for a band. And that got me to thinking about real bands with genuinely unusual names, as chronicled in The Canonical List of Weird Band Names, which is always good for a laugh as long as you don't have the font size too big on your browser at work.

Seriously, folks. When Roid Rogers and the Whirling Butt Cherries is one of the better names that someone might see rolling across your screen, you might want to use a little discretion.