Why I'm not employed by Topps

When I was in junior high, I spent a great portion of my lunch money on the old third-series Garbage Pail Kids, and I've picked up some of the new ones every now and then.

On the official Web site, you can make your own Garbage Pail Kid. I decided to get in touch with the 11-year-old me and come up with the grossest kids while still capturing the spirit of the series.

This was the first one I thought of.



The two that didn't make the cut: Uri Nate and

...Jack Ulate.

So ashamed...