International Astronomical Union to Pluto: "You cold busted."

Alas, poor Pluto.

After about 75 years of being the ninth planet, everyone's favorite celestial snowball got busted down to dwarf planet status. Now we're left with Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune as official planets.

I've seen some complaints about how the old mnemonic we learned in school -- along the lines of "My Very Educated Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas" is now obsolete.

I always found it easier to, I dunno, remember the actual names of the planets. I think I was a weird kid, though.

I'm not against mnemonics; they're pretty handy. I've always been partial to "Eskimos Go Bananas Drinking Fresca" over "Every Good Boy Does Fine." You can guess how long ago my music class was based on the inclusion of "Go Bananas" and "Fresca."

In old issues of "The Flash," one of the enemies -- The Rainbow Raider -- was named Roy G. Bivolo. I read about that long before I learned about Roy G. Biv representing the colors of the natural spectrum.

My friends and I came up with quite a few mnemonics in my high school science classes, most of which I'm, uh, not at liberty to share, if you know what I mean.

Am I bummed out about Pluto getting sent down to the minors? No, not really. I always thought it had a goofy name (So to speak; the cartoon dog was named after the planet, according to Wikipedia). Besides, it's going to be decades before Pluto is removed from the collective knowledge pool of the general public.

If nothing else, it will be the best-known dwarf planet, which admittedly is sort of like being the coolest nerd (so I hear), but it's something.

YouTube resurrected the video star

I hear YouTube wants to someday have every music video ever made online for people to watch. I guess they mean they want to do this in cooperation with the music labels, as there's already skillions of videos on YouTube.

I figured I'd see what I could find.



"Calling All Girls" by Hilly Michaels. This is what I think of when I think of old MTV. I actually caught this on ALTV, one of the specials "Weird Al" Yankovic did on MTV back in the day, and it looks like that's where this clip came from. Now that's a music video. Awesome.



"Building a Bridge to Your Heart" by Wax. Another one I saw on ALTV back in 1987. It's a catchy little tune.



"We'll Be Right Back" by Steinski and Mass Media. Wow, 3 for 3 for videos I saw via ALTV. This particlular clip was from a showing of Night Flight. Homina! Homina homina!

Should you want to check some videos out on your own, there's always http://www.1500videos.com/. They've done the dirty work of finding and indexing, and you just click and watch.

And here's a quick "How well do you know Jeff" quiz: When the video below came out, what do you suppose was the reason I watched it every time it came on? Those of you readers who happen to be my wife are ineligible to take the quiz. And unless you want to explain why you're watching cheesy music videos, you might not want to check these at work.

Well, turn it up, man...

Oh jeez.

This commercial is solely responsible for my violent dislike of the song "Bread and Butter." I probably wouldn't have lilked it much anyway, but this commercial made sure of it.

This clip is for my brother.

Freedom Rock. If there was a spot in which stations could possibly air this commercial, they did. Even if there wasn't, they did. Every time I hear the beginning of "Layla," it's all I can do not to ask whoever's listening with me, "Hey, man, is that Freedom Rock?"



Ah, I miss K-Tel Records commercials. I have quite a few in my vinyl collection, but not this one. I loved how you could get a random assortment of artists one just one K-Tel collection. I have one that has Sylvers, Kiss, England Dan & John Ford Coley, Gary Wright, Alice Cooper and Heart as the first six tracks. Yikes!

"I'm not a drama critic."

Back in my "I'm a total Star Trek geek" days, Universal Studios used to have an attraction called "Star Trek Adventure" in which happy park-goers could get picked to play small parts in a short Trek episode. They'd videotape the various parts and splice it together to show at the end of the attraction. If you were one of the people selected, you could buy a copy of your performance.

I went with my family in the summer of 1989. It was the one attraction I wanted most to check out, so we made sure to get at the very front. In no time, there was a sizable crowd behind us.

Finally, it was time. Someone came out to cast parts for the mini-movie. I stood as tall as I could, hoping to get picked. The guy kept looking right at me and then right past me, just like most of the girls at school did. I saw him point in my direction.

Oh jeez, did he just point at me?

Nope. Close, but nope. He picked my dad. Well, that was cool -- at least I'd know somebody in the thing.

They were still picking people, which meant that I still had a chance.

They picked my brother. (Cue sad trombone: wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaah...)

Apparently, 14-year-old dorks were not on their casting sheet.

Instead I got to watch my dad get transformed into a Klingon and my brother into an engineering trainee. It was neat to see how everything got put together, and we bought a copy of the thing as a souvenir, but it didn't change the fact that I didn't get picked (an unbelievable injustice), and I was pissed off in that way that only 14-year-olds can manage.

In fact, if you look at pictures of our trip, you can tell which ones were taken before Star Trek Adventure and which were after. The post-STA pictures feature me in a state of scowliness, which is saying something, considering I wasn't a very smiley person in the first place.

It was the second time I'd been so close to fun at Universal. On my first trip, there was a thing where they showed how a normal person could seem as strong as the Incredible Hulk, whose show was one of the big hits. Yes, it was that long ago.

They needed volunteers for a demonstration, and my hand shot up in a flash. I was excited beyond belief when the person in charge pointed right at me. I looked to my parents to smile at them, and as I got ready to stand up, the kid sitting next to me leapt to his feet and ambled down to the stage.

So I spent the next few minutes watching him pretend to lift a car and other Hulk-like feats.

(Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaah...)

There were a couple of versions of the Star Trek Adventure, apparently.

This was like the one my dad and my brother were in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWIpmJO9GN4.

This is a different one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISihtIMvRSc

I was just kidding...

I was going through a box of clips from when I used to write a humor column at the paper where I used to work.

One column was full of gag ideas for TV shows. Not surprisingly, I came up with the titles first on most of them (Nun of the Above, Jake and the Batman).

But one caught my eye:

The Lighthouse

In this "Smallville"-inspired outing, we see the teen years of Aquaman. As teenager Arthur Curry, he is unuaware of his legacy -- the throne of Atlantis. In what foreshadows his career in "The Superfriends," he does a lot of stuff wrong, is generally useless and always has to bum rides off the other kids in school.

Keep in mind that this was printed in March of 2002.

Little did I think they'd actually do it.

Ophidians on an Airborne Conveyance

I've been reading about it for about a year, and now it's finally here. I knew I'd have to say something about it eventually.

I'd like to see it, but I rarely get a chance to hit the theaters.

I figure lots of people are a little "Snakes on a Plane"-d out, but I say it was worth it just to have a message from Samuel L. Jackson sent to my mother.

What's going on?

As you can see, there are a few changes going on around here. Things may look different in the next week or so. Blogger has added a few new features, so I'm trying them out. I'm also doing some other stuff, so if I hose something up, let me know.

Hey, look! It's my Technorati Profile!

Here we are now -- entertain us

A little while back, I bought a ukulele at Cost Plus. I'd been wanting to noodle around with one for a little while; I really like the sound.

Plus, I figured I could learn to play "Ram On" (or "Grandma" if you are my son) by Paul McCartney.

The only drawback thus far is that the nylon strings are murder to keep tuned. I keep meaning to pick up some metal strings, but I keep forgetting.

But after seeing the following YouTube clip on Ask Metafilter, I'm inspired to take the uke off the shelf and really learn how to play it.

People, let me tell you 'bout my best friend

In honor of Sesame Street's 37th season (which begins today), The Lovely Mrs. Davis asked mom and dad bloggers to reflect on the following question: What television, music, movie or book from your childhood are you excited about sharing with your own children?

My son Brody is 3. We've already spent time giggling at Looney Tunes cartoons together, and he can sing the themes to "Superman," "Star Wars" and "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (which he calls "The Spaceship Show called Star Trek").

He has a healthy appreciation for all kinds of music. I made a playlist on the iPod of songs he likes to sing along to, such as "Dance, Dance, Dance" by the Beach Boys, "Pictures of Pandas Painting" by They Might Be Giants and "Ram On," by Paul McCartney. That last song, though, he's convinced is called "Grandma," and sings accordingly.

We both enjoy singing together while I play songs on the guitar. He's able to recognize the songs, and he's too young to notice how poorly I actually play, so it's a win-win situation.

We do a lot of "Name That Tune" kind of stuff, where I just play a little bit of a song and I ask him what it is. When I play a few notes of the introduction to "Older" by They Might Be Giants, his face lights up and he doesn't even wait for me to ask what the song is.

I try not to shove all my favorite pop culture stuff down his throat, but given that he spends a lot of time with his dear old dad, who is mildly obsessed with books, music and movies, he's going to get acquainted with it one way or another.

What I'm really looking forward to sharing with him are books. Don't get me wrong; he's got a giant library already, but I can't wait to read actual stories with him. I can get through Dr. Seuss books so far, but it's a chore to keep him still for very long.

But when he's ready, there are tons of books by Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume and John D. Fitzgerald waiting for him. I already refer to him as "The Great Brain" from time to time.

There are more books, of course, but those three were among my favorite authors growing up.

It's kind of cool, really, because as he gets older and older, there's more and more stuff to share. There will likely come a day when the two of us can sit on the couch, root beers in hand, ready to watch Bob and Doug McKenzie in "Strange Brew."

Beauty, eh?

Left-handed compliment

And a happy International Left-Handers Day to you!

Yes, it's the day we set aside to honor our favorite southpaws and perhaps refrain from mocking the way they write with their hands curled at unnatural-looking angles.

If you want to see a giant list of left-handed people, try here.

To learn more about the holiday, go here.

If you want to see if you are still immature, click play on the video below (probably not at work unless you have headphones or something).



The shame...

Battle of the Network Stars still rules.

I love my old TV Guides.

I've mentioned before how much I liked watching "Battle of the Network Stars." This particular installment I probably didn't catch, as I was a day shy of my third birthday when it aired.

But man, what a lineup. So cool were these specials, they had to put in a notice that explained that BotNS pre-empted regular programming.

This will definitely be a part of the Siftin' Television Network.

Keep your feet on the ground...

I have a short list of things that I want but don't actually need. Well, I don't need them in comparison to, you know, groceries and gas.

They're little things, like a tablet for my computer (so I can bore people with drawing as well as writing), a recumbent exercise bike (so I can play some Burnout Revenge while I exercise) and XM Radio.

Fortunately, I can listen to a handful of the stations via Winamp. Especially fortunate now that XM is running old "American Top 40" shows on its 70s and 80s stations. I'm listening to a countdown from 1981 right now, and there was one from 1987 before that, when Club Nouveau's "Lean on Me" was No. 1. I remembered listening to that show, and it was then I realized how much I really listened to AT40.

It's cool hearing old songs in a context when they were current. Somewhere in a cardboard box, I have a few tapes of the Top 100 of 1986 countdown, taped off the radio when I was 12. When I listen to them, I remember sitting at my desk, drawing, or lying on my bed, reading a book.

Or avoiding cleaning my room again.

It's also kinda neat to hear the songs that were on the countdown but vanished from my memory. That's actually what I like about 80s on 8 in general, but especially AT40. There are some songs from the 80s that now don't remind me much of anything because I've heard them so many times. I mean, I love "She Blinded Me With Science," but do I need to see it on yet another 80s "party album"?

At the beginning of the countdown I'm listening to, there was a song called "General Hospi-Tale" by The Afternoon Delights. I have absolutely no recollection of this song. Granted, I was about 6 when this countdown originally aired, but still.

And how can you not love the Long-Distance Dedications? And if you remember those the way I do, you have to hear this outtake. There are some other cool things on the page (I loves me some TV Party), so check those out, too. There's a bit of swearing, so turn your speakers down if you're checking this at work.

Now, on with the countdown...

Warning: Do not stare directly at your screen...

...not because there's a picture of my face, mind you.

I was rooting through my weird shirt collection the other day. I found the "I Want My MTV" shirt I knew I had, but it's way too small for me so I let my wife wear it to celebrate MTV's 25th anniversary the other day.

I also found the butt-ugliest shirt I own. I found it at a Salvation Army back in my college days, and despite the $2.35 or whatever the price tag read, I knew that I had to have it.

It's hideous. A garish pattern with colors not found in nature. It's a three-button pullover shirt made of, I'm guessing, recycled vinyl picnic bench tablecloths. It's the only thing to make me glad I'm mildly colorblind.

And it's all mine.

If you are planning on eating, you may want to look away. Here's a closeup:

And the best part is that at one point, in some thankfully bygone era, this was actually intended to be worn.

In public.

By people.

On purpose.

The next time some codger (besides me, of course) waxes nostalgic about "the good old days," show them the shirt and pummle them.

If I have to feel old, I'm not doing it alone

In honor of MTV's 25th anniversary on Aug. 1, VH-1 Classic is going to show MTV's inaugural day of broadcasting.

They recently showed a sample hour, and I have to say, I was a little bummed.

Not that it made me feel ancient, which it does.

But I was under the impression that they'd be showing the actual footage from MTV's first day. Instead, it was just the videos (with the VH-1 Classic font for the videos rather than classic MTV one) and a little bit of VJ footage with a stupid graphic at the bottom.

I'm hoping that they'll use the footage for the entire day, but I have a feeling it's going to be just a video playlist.

Which I guess is a little cool, but it's just not the same.

Aug. 1 at midnight and again at 9 a.m. on Aug. 5. Set your Tivos.

Wikipedia has a list of the first 62 videos shown on MTV, and I'd like to point your attention to No. 52: "Thank You for Being a Friend" by Andrew Gold.

Yes, the song that ended up as the theme to "The Golden Girls."

Coming soon to a shelf near you...

How can you pass up a movie like this?

Amid the idyllic splendor of the Northern California woods, a quaint country inn offers respite for the weary traveler. It also harbors a dark secret. Almost sixty years earlier, it was the crumbling home of a malevolent witch who lured in children, stole their teeth, butchered their bodies, and cursed their souls to wander the earth forever. Now, the witch's slumber has been disturbed, and her vengeful spirit seeks the slaughter of all who stay there. And for one eleven-year-old girl with a loose molar and an active imagination, the ultimate horror begins with a visit from The Tooth Fairy...

Admittedly, I'm a sucker for movies that put a horrific spin on things from childhood, be it "The Ice Cream Man," "The Gingerdead Man" or "Batman and Robin."

"The Tooth Fairy" is co-written and produced by Stephen J. Cannell, who not only brought the world "The Greatest American Hero" but also introduced us to "The A-Team." If not for him, there'd be no B.A. Baracus.

The DVD offers bonus features, including an audio commentary and behind-the-scenes interviews. It hits shelves everywhere on Aug. 8.

Sounds like it could be fun.

A tale of two movies: Incoming Freshmen

I'm a sucker for cheap movies. I started with double-feature DVDs and moved my way through the DVD 4-pack and 10-pack before graduating to the 50-movie megapack.

That's 50 movies on 12 DVDs, so we're not talking HD-DVD picture quality. It's pretty hit and miss. The movie I intended to review here, Invasion of the Bee Girls was one of the movies in the 50-pack, but the picture quality was so abysmal (lots of night scenes didn't help what looked like a 2nd-generation VHS transfer) that I had to go for my backup plan.

Actually, my very first intended movie was "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies, but the disc arrived broken twice from Netflix, so I took it as a sign that I should pick something else.

So, hoping that the third time is the charm, I picked "Incoming Freshmen," a film from the 10-movie pack called "Toga Party."

Today's movie in a nutshell: Quoth the box copy (verbatim, mind you): "This comical college hi-jinks begins when a somewhat innocent country girl travels to a large city to attend a university. Upon entering her new dorm room, she finds her roommate in an extremely compromising position! 'Incoming Freshmen' is full of the kind of fun that you can only have when you're too young to know any better!"

Keep in mind that the description to one of the other movies in this set, "Toga Party," bears no actual resemblance to the movie itself. It's not even a college comedy. We'll see how this one fares. Cross your fingers.

Poor Jane. She accidentally barges in on her roommate Vivian engaging in some extracurricular activity. Viv catches up to Jane, who ran away, and tells her it's okay.

The people who wrote the box copy at least watched the opening credits, so good for them.

In what is supposed to pass for a classroom, Professor L.P. Bilbo addresses his students. The prof is a very big man with a very twangy accent. He mentions that it's always nice to get to know the student body. There's a boingy sound effect, and one of the coeds stands up, topless but for a red sash and sunglasses.

I feel a headache coming on.

Sgt. Laverne Finterplay steps in to talk about the women's ROTC. As she speaks, Bilbo imagines her with less and less clothing, until all she's wearing is a set of rank stripes on her butt.

Holy cow, this is going to be a long movie. It's also a bit disjointed, so don't be surprised at the lack of transitions.

Randy is getting advice on meeting girls from his pals. Meanwhile, Jane is getting the same kind of talk from Vivian. Jane just wants to know boys as friends. She's got a boyfriend back home.

Suzi Sharp and Betsy Bingham, annoying sorority types, pop in to welcome Jane to Delta Pi.

The dean tells Bilbo that a student, Skunk Henderson, is said to have bored a hole to the girls showers, and he wants Bilbo to check it out. He says he'll look into it. (Ha-ha.) Bilbo waltzes into the girls locker room and asks if anyone is there. No one answers, so he goes into the showers.

He's looking for the peephole, and a janitor, Booker T. Rabinowitz (don't ask), comes in to clean out the showers. He turns on the main shower valve (conveniently marked as such), and soaks Bilbo.

Yok! Yok!
Viv and Jane are still talking about Jane's boyfriend and the perils of long-distance relationships. Viv mentions that her boyfriend has a friend who needs a date, but Jane is staying true to Steve.

Back at the dorm, the phone keeps ringing for Viv, and Jane is waiting for Steve to call.

Viv finally gets home and tells Jane about all the "fun" she missed. Viv can't believe Steve didn't call. Jane sticks up for him. They decide to call Jane's friend Cindy to see if she knows what might have happened to Steve.

Cindy answers, and Jane asks about Steve. Not only is Steve okay, but he's "better than ever." Jane doesn't quite pick up on it, so Cindy explains the situation to her. Viv tells him off and hangs up on him.

Bilbo time again. Oy. He starts talking about Europe. The students are to put pins in the capital cities of Europe. If the lass he picks. Miss Seymour, can get them all right, there will be no homework. As she names the capitals, she does a striptease -- once again in his imagination.

Strangely, Jane and Viv are not in Bilbo's class.

Jane goes with Randy, Phil and Viv to the drive-in. Randy sees his friends at the concession stand and mentions that Jane isn't how he thought she'd be. He brings back a popcorn, which she dumps on him accidentally.

The next day, Jane talks to Viv about how she wants to get to know him better.

Elsewhere, Randy is talking to a friend about his date with Jane when they both spot Tubetop Girl. Yes, that's how she's billed. While Randy's brushing his teeth, he daydreams about Tubetop Girl and overdoes it with the toothpaste.

Yok! Yok!
Jane and Viv are walking around campus, talking yet again about the guy situation on campus, this time about the teachers. Jane is carrying a bundle of books, but Viv only carries a notebook. I thought that was a nice tough.

It's time for Bilbo to check out the showers again. There doesn't seem to be anyone there, so he goes in. Once he's in, a bunch of girls come into the locker room behind him. He hides in a shower stall with some laundry. One by one, the girls trickle in to the showers. He needs to get out of there without getting caught, so he ambles out of the showers with a robe on and a towel over his head.

Randy finds Jane and apologizes for their date. She says she had a good time. Randy hints that he'd like to get a drink with her, but she doesn't pick up on it.

Jane goes to a sorority mixer, and it's a flurry of activity.

Across campus, some guys are making use of a pair of binoculars to steal a peek at showering coeds. This goes on for quite a while. It's safe to say that the girl they're all ogling is very clean.

The next day, I guess, Bilbo is teaching his ever-dwindling class. He imagines the girls in various states of undress.

Again.

Sigh.

Near the end of the scene, he imagines one of the guys mooning him.

Double-sigh.

Jane is worried that Randy is going to think that she wants to jump into bed with him. Randy is playing foosball with his pals trying to give the impression that more is going on than really is.

I'm really glad I was too young to miss out on disco bars.

Randy gets hassled by a group of guys at the bar, but they back off when he mentions his friend Earl. Later, Randy and Jane talk and make out a little bit.

The next day, Jane goes over what had happened the night before with Christy, a psychology major.

Another useless Bilbo interlude ensues in which he appears to have a breakdown. He says he's off to take a nap.

Jane and Viv are getting ready to attend the big football game.

A bunch of girls hear that Bilbo had a breakdown, so they play a prank on him. They strip to their underwear, put on pig masks and throw him in the shower.

Yes, that's exactly what I'd do to get revenge. Oy.

Jane and Viv leave their boyfriends after the game to go to a "special sorority function." There are going to be a bunch of guys there, and Jane is worried about what she's going to wear. Viv explains to her that girls don't wear bras anymore.

Elsewhere, the guys are talking about giving up on their girls.

At the party, there's live music, lots of people and lots of booze. The frat has a birthday present for Skunk Henderson, even though he says it's not his birthday. Two guys haul in a giant cake, and a girl pops out. Skunk is, uh, happy about his present. The band goes back to playing the song they were playing when Jane and Viv got there.

Suddenly, Bilbo busts in, wearing a white disco suit. He apologizes for being such a jerk and wants to make friends with all the kids. Then everyone starts dancing.

Crap, this is one long song.

Now it's time to cram a bunch of girls in a phone booth with one guy.

Randy and Phil are at a bar, lamenting their lack of dates. One of their friends introduces Randy to Tubetop Girl, and they go off together, never to be seen again.

Back at the party, the band is finally playing another song, "Do the Goat." Uh, yeah. Okay.

For the first time in the movie, Bilbo and Jane are seen together. He's now wearing black and is smoking. Jane decides to jump up and join the dance.

The end. Huh?

Afterthoughts: This started out fairly well, but punked out at the end. It seems like two relatively unrelated movies got crammed together. All the scenes with Prof. Bilbo seem out of place. That's where most of the nudity is, and he's only seen with Jane in the very last scene, although Jane might have been in one of the early classroom scenes, but sporting the look she has at the end of the movie. It's hard to tell, so I can't say for sure, but considering Jane is the main character, she's not featured as she should be.

The tone of the Bilbo scenes is different, too. Most of the rest of the movie is kinda sweet, just about a shy girl going away to college. In fact, without the Bilbo scenes, this could probably have been PG, or maybe a very soft R.

I found a little bit of information about this movie at this site. It explains why the film seems so disjointed. It was originally filmed in 1977 and was recut with extra scenes when it was sold to Cannon a year later. It was released in 1979. Go there to find out more.

It's a shame because while it was a bit slow, it wasn't bad. As it is now, it's just a hash of a movie with a non-ending ending. I assume we're supposed to think that Jane has finally cast off her small-town inhibitions and has decided to enjoy college, but it's a bit of a stretch to pull that from seeing her sitting and then stretching her arms and getting up.

I'm always interested in seeing random movies, and this one is definitely pretty random.

Yok! Yok!

Once or twice or even thrice

Yeah, I know it's Monday morning, but here's more Saturday morning fun anyhow. Grab some Count Chocula and party like it's 1979. Here are a bunch of ABC health spots. There's also one about money management, so pay attention.

The songs on these are really catchy, so don't blame me if you're caught singing "Beans and Rice" under your breath during a meeting at work.

I really wish that these would get released on DVD as extras for something. Until they are, check them out here:

Watch Out for the Munchies



Yuck Mouth



Quickfast



Make a Saturdae



The Chopper



Don't Drown Your Food



Beans and Rice



The Dough Nuts

When I'm slow on the draw and I need something to chaw...

Saturday mornings growing up meant waking up far earlier than I would on a school day so I could enjoy a healthy dose of cartoons. I stuck mostly with ABC, as they showed the various incarnations of "The Superfriends." I'd switch to NBC for some "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends," and in the early years, CBS was the place for watching classic Warner Bros. cartoons. Eventually ABC got that, too, but it wasn't the same.

The networks all had their own vaguely educational interstitial segments, and ABC won my allegiance here, too, if just for "Schoolhouse Rock." Coming in a strong second were the "Time for Timer" spots. I never saw the full-length cartoon from which they spun off, but I enjoyed watching the strange little blob and his obsession with nutrition.

Timer was voiced by Lennie Weinrib, who passed away recently. His voice acting rap sheet was quite long; if you watched Saturday morning TV any time in the 70s and early 80s, you heard him. You can learn more from his friend, the always-cool Mark Evanier.

Here for your amusement (until YouTube yanks them away), I've found the "Time for Timer" spots. Check them out while you can. I saved my favorite for the last one, of course.

You Are What You Eat



Sunshine on a Stick



The Only You You've Got



Quick Snacks



Eat Some Kind of Breakfast Every Day



I Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese

Journey into Jeff's Brain IV: Revenge of the Wrath of Electric Boogaloo

Yes.

On my local public television station, KQED, summer brought relief from the stodgy grown-up shows. Their summer programming block was called Vacation Video, and we looked forward to seeing what offerings would be served up every summer.

One that always stuck out in my mind was Vegetable Soup. It reminded me of the programs the local independent channels would show on Sunday mornings like "Hot Fudge" and "Big Blue Marble."

Thanks to YouTube, you can check out the opening credits. The clip was uploaded by Larynxa, who has a metric buttload of other cool clips. Check them out.

Journey into Jeff's Brain III: The Search for Relevance

Colgate Pump



I know I complained about using cool songs for commercials, but I still love this one. To this day, I can't sing the real words to "Baggy Trousers" by Madness. Oh, it starts out that way, but before too long, I hear myself singing "We've got the Colgate pump, we love the Colgate pump..."

Plus, I thought the girl in the checked dress was cute when this first came out.

Toys R Us



While checking out a thrift store years ago, I came across an "I'm a Toys R Us kid" sweatshirt. It remains in the Siftin' archival storage until my son gets old enough to wear it.

Encyclopedia Brittanica



I'd remember this much more fondly if my friends hadn't insisted that the guy in this looked just like me. And boy, what fun it was when on a field trip, we saw an Encyclopedia Brittanica store.

Mego Superheroes



I loved the half-assed descriptions of the various heroes in this lineup of cool toys. The best: "The Falcon...that great black superhero." Like that was the only thing they could think of to say.

It's also pretty clear they had no idea what the Fantastic Four did. "The [Human] Torch...faster than the speed of light!" They did okay with the Thing, but "Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl -- both have the powers of invisibility." Wha-huh?

Tootsie Pop



I once wrote an article for the school newspaper on how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I think it was something like 971. Fortunately, I had no social life to get in the way of my scientific pursuit.

McDonald's commercial


I still hear the words to this commercial when I hear "Für Elise."

This is Your Brain on Drugs



Despite what anyone else will tell you, I was the first person to make the "Can I get some toast with that?" joke about this commercial. Proven scientific fact.*

* Well, no, not really.