Everybody all around the world, gotta tell you what I just heard

My darling wife alerted me to this, and I have to say, I'm torn. I'd say a Broadway musical based on a crappy movie is just a bad idea, but then there was "Little Shop of Horrors."

Yeah, I know it was off-Broadway, but they had a Broadway revival a few years ago, so let's just go with the analogy.

But Xanadu?

Really?

Maybe, yeah. I always dug the music, and let's be honest, half of that movie was practically a stage musical to begin with. If it ever came around my neck of the woods, I think I'd be obligated to see it.

Had I visited The Xanadu Preservation Society recently, I'd have known about this already.

And you heard it here first: If this show bombs, you know they're going to use the lyric "A place where nobody dared to go."

Just like if the next Hulk movie doesn't tank, you're going to see a bunch of "'Hulk' smash!"

I'm not claiming that either is terribly clever, but I know copy editors and their headline-writing habits.

You say it's your Earth Day...it's my Earth Day too, yeah

Ah, Earth Day once again.

I've been up to my myopic eyeballs in other non-Siftin' stuff, so I haven't had as much time to devote to the ol' blog. Apologies to the three of you out there.

In honor of Earth Day, I'm continuing the tradition I began last year of recycling some posts you might have missed or were just so good you should read them over and over, commit them to memory and perhaps tattoo them on the body part of your choice (don't forget to send the pictures...)

This year's crop:

A commercial for Ball Buster, the best game commercial ever.

A look at one of my favorite cookbooks

Some thoughts about sports mascots

More Wonder Twins madness

Some dumb things I have done

and if you're really into the whole recycling thing, here's last year's Earth Day entry.

You organic product aficianados can get your official organic cotton Siftin' T-shirt here.

Watch Horror Movies...Keep America Strong!

Today is Bob Wilkins' birthday. For years, he hosted "Creature Features," a showcase for bad movies, before turning the reins over to John Stanley in 1979.

On "Creature Features," not only could you discover great bad movies in the days before everyone had a VCR, but he also interviewed many important figures in science fiction and horror.

Despite being just a bit past my fourth birthday when Bob stopped hosting the show, I still have memories of watching on the rare occasions that I stayed up really late. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how this worked, as my parents weren't in the habit of letting me stay up till all hours of the night. I can only presume that they were watching it and I came out to ask for a glass of water or something.

I met Bob (and John Stanley) at WonderCon a few years back. I told them that they were responsible for my addiction to bad movies. I added that I didn't know if I should thank them or blame them.

And one year that I couldn't go, I had my brother pick up the Best of Bob Wilkins tapes, which are now available on DVD, and I highly recommend them.

I wasn't able to attend the two tribute shows thrown last month (and hosted by Mr. Lobo) to benefit Alzheimer's research (curse my work schedule), but it looks like they were a lot of fun.

Here are two YouTube clips that show you a bit of what's on the DVD.




Here's a picture one of my friends snapped at WonderCon the first time I saw Bob. I kept grousing that I wished I could've gotten my picture taken with him, but I didn't want to hassle him, because I'm really shy.

Outside for a quick break, my friend told me to look at the camera. He took a quick shot while Bob was walking by, so I got my picture. A bit chicken on my part, I admit, but now I'm glad I've got this picture.

Happy birthday, Bob!

I hope those are Raisinets in my Easter basket...

It's Easter, and lo and behold, I found Cadbury Creme Eggs in my Easter basket.



BJ Novak (Ryan on The Office) sheds light on a serious matter.



You know about watching The Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, but what happens when you eat Marshmallow Peeps while you listen to The Wall?



or while watching Star Wars?



Now this looks like a lot of fun. Reminds me of riding down the giant hill in my cousin's back yard to fly off a ramp and realize that we should have been wearing "nard guards."



The Easter Bunny always seemed like a nice guy, but now I dunno...



This is for Brody...



Happy Easter, yo.

I'd buy it

I come up with many ideas for items to add to my Cafe Press store that sadly, I can't use because of their policies. Not a dig against them; otherwise there'd be tons of bootleg T-shirts and stuff.

But if anyone is ever promoting a children's literature program or something, I've got the perfect T-shirt slogan:

What would Beezus do?

More stuff

Just added a new widget to the sidebar that pulls videos from YouTube and Google Video. Right now, it's using the keywords for 80s commercials and 70s commercials. I may change it from time to time.

Give it a shot -- it looks kinda neat.

They know what they're talking aboot.

I've mentioned before that my brother and I used to watch "The Edison Twins" on the Disney Channel back in the days where in addition to sweet Canadian programming, you could actually watch, you know, Disney cartoons.

Poking around on YouTube, I found a shot-for-shot remake of the opening credits. They also had a picture-in-picture version, in which you can see how exactly they replicated it.

Awesome all around. Check it out.

Hey, Alanis ...

No, this isn't the introduction to the Opposites.

Apply directly to the ...

OK, I think we've all suffered and seen the commercial for HeadOn.

"HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead."

They even know that the commercial is annoying; they try to make fun of how annoying it is. No dice. Even more annoying.

These days, they've got ActiveOn, which is a pain reliever of sorts (I think), and FirstOn, an itch ointment. Clearly they are trying to branch out and expand their offerings.

So that got me to wondering where exactly they're going to go next.

Then it hit me: herbal male enhancement pills -- that's the big thing these days, right?

But what could they call it?

Hmm...

Okay, I'm bound to think of something. Just give me a few minutes...

Wild about Harry

I'm wearing my Chewbacca T-shirt in honor of my son, Harry, who would have turned 2 today.

Chances are you never got to meet him; we barely did ourselves. But I admired both his tendency to get hungry exactly a half-hour before it was time to eat and his luxurious mane of hair.

Really. He didn't have just a good amount of hair; he had a mop of Charles Ingallsian proportions.

I still think about him every day, and every now and then I wonder if he's messing with me, whether it's a butterfly dive-bombing me just as I walk out the door or the number on my McDonald's receipt being his birthday.

I'll get back to the off-color jokes and pop-culture memories later. Until then, raise a glass, mug or paper-bag-wrapped bottle (depending how your day is going) and toast my favorite Wookiee.

Apparently not.

I have two things to say about Fox's game show, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

1. I learned of it during a commercial break from a NASCAR race (Brody likes to watch for the first 10 minutes or so). Draw your own conclusions about what Fox thinks of NASCAR fans. I bet they didn't advertise on the National Geographic channel.

2. Fifth-grader should be hyphenated.

The fever for the flavor

Did she just say "Once you taste the fluffer?" Discuss.

All hail the Shat

So it was William Shatner's birthday the other day -- happy birthday, Shat -- and it got me to thinking. I know he's written some books about his days on Star Trek, but has he written a full autobiography?

If not, I've got the perfect title:

Are you buy-curious?

UPDATE: Dumbass me fixed the mistyped link to my own store.

In case you haven't checked out the official Siftin' store yet (for shame), here's a look at one of the items you'll find there that doesn't have my face on it (no snide comments, please).


Aside from the thong with my face on it, I'd say this is the item that's getting the most interest from viewers.

Remember, this is your chance to support puerile humor.

What I wanted to be when I grew up, circa 1978

Pizza farmer

So what's on TV, yo? Part II

Wow, looks like a ho lot of programming lately. Is this a cooking show?

Don't harsh my mallow...

Honest to God, sometimes I just don't get me. Even after 32 years, I baffle myself sometimes.

I blame "Unwrapped." They featured the Valomilk, which is a chocolate and marshmallow confection from heaven. If you haven't had one, then for criminy sakes, buy some online. They're messy as all hell, but I love them.

So stupid me decides that some fresh marshmallow is just what the doctor ordered. After checking the Internet, I found a recipe. But I didn't have a few ingredients.

$21.63 and a trip to yon grocery store later, I had all I needed (plus some chips and fruit). But it would take too long to make them for me to start that night.

So that meant today when I got home from work. With supervision from my son, I got to work. At no time while I was mixing everything did I think it was going to work.

But damned if I didn't end up making marshmallows. They didn't look like the uniform kind you get at the store, but not bad for a first try, I'd say. I even coated a few in granulated sugar instead of the powdered sugar/corn starch mix. I tried one, and it was like biting into an impossibly fresh Marshmallow Peep.

No Valomilk, but still pretty tasty. Now that I am a marshmallow-making madman, I might try approximating a Valomilk. This may end up with my kitchen looking like the aftermath of the Ghostbusters vs. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man battle, but I have to try in the name of science.

It ain't easy seein' green

Well, it's St. Patrick's Day again. Time for my annual failure to procure a Shamrock Shake from McDonald's. I don't even like them that much. It's the principle.

I explained my mild dislike of this holiday last year, so I won't go into it again...except to add this YouTube clip of a "Color Blindness Teste." If you think I'm going to make a joke about that, you're nuts.




But I am Irish (well, part Irish, anyway), so I feel obligated to do something to celebrate. I smell more YouTube clips coming...

Oh crap, it's Uncle O'Grimacey...



Shamrock Sundaes?



Oh, I get it... he's from Ireland.



And let's end on a triumphant note...

The Ballad of Mr. Mom

I'm going to do my best not to start ranting here, but there's something that just kind of bugs me when I see it, and it happens at least once a month.

It started with a bunch of airline mile points I needed to spend. Jetting off to the Strip wasn't really an option, so I decided to score some magazine subscriptions instead.

Being a parent, I decided to make Parenting and Parents two of my choices. I got my first issue of Parenting, and that's when the trouble began.

I never really noticed it before, but it seems that no one really expects dads to be participants in the whole parenting gig.

It's a worn-out sitcom gag that dad is clueless about things around the house, how to deal with kids, which brand of vodka is suitable for toddlers, stuff like that.

Page after page of Parenting (and Parents to a similar extent) is full of mom-centric ads and features.

I know you have to play to your audience, and I'm going to assume they've done enough research that shows that moms are their primary core readers.

However, despite the comments from various classmates, I am not a female.

There are mom polls, beauty-on-the-go tips and, as I just noticed on this month's cover, "What matters to moms." Sure, more often than not there's a token "Dad column," but it's usually in the back of the issue.

Well, I'm a dad, and with the schedule I work, I am with my son all day long, which is great. Well, you know what I mean. Sometimes the little barnacle drives me up a wall, but he's still awesome. But I'm the one with him most of the day.

I doubt I'm the only Mr. Mom out there, and seeing reference after reference to mom-oriented stuff with the implications (and sometimes not very subtle ones at that) that dads don't care is disheartening. I'm probably a little oversensitive, having already had to deal with being a guy who couldn't possibly give less of a crap about sport without the aid of an electron microscope.

I actually wrote a letter to Parenting and mentioned my concerns. I got a reply that asked to confirm my information so they could print the letter in a future issue. That was months ago, and unless I missed it (I am just a dad after all), they haven't used it yet.

I like looking for parenting tips, but they all seem so couched in the female frame of mind that it's really uninviting to me. There are a lot of dad blogs out there, and I've been checking those fairly regularly, but maybe they should change the magazine title to Momming or my personal favorite, Mother.

I can't help but picture the press crew getting ready to roll the presses, saying "All right, let's turn this Mother out."

Both magazines are full of good reading, but I feel like I'm sneaking a peek at Glamour or Ladies' Home Journal.

Although I have to admit, the Fresh Bloom Allover Colour compact looks pretty sweet, and it's only $29.50.

Why I'm not allowed near the kitchen spices with a Sharpie marker...

The fact that it's next to the nutmeg is just a happy coincidence.