Saturday, March 08, 2008

Sweet monkey love

You know, I'm far from one to castigate others for what they choose to spend their money on, as I buy tapes of old TV commercials and movies no one in their right mind would want to watch.

That said, my wife came across this ad the other day, and it really just made me pause.


OK, a monkey dressed as a baby is creepy enough, but on a giant phallic banana, too? Eeesh.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Tag, I'm it.

I was tagged by Dorf!

The rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you (see above).

2) Post the rules.

3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.

4) Tag at least three people.

5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

Six weird things about me (it was hard narrowing it down):

1) I anagram signs while in stopped traffic.

2) I'm colorblind and left-handed.

3) I own Xanadu, Blood Freak, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Gong Show Movie, Zapped, and Black Devil Doll From Hell, among other movies.

4) My collection of old TV commercials is large enough that I could watch nothing but commercials for a 3-day weekend without repeating.

5) I play a right-handed guitar upside-down rather than restringing it for a lefty.

6) I've never seen a full episode of Lost, Survivor, or Heroes.

I’m going to tag Ken, Karyne, and Genevieve. Sucks to be them.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Stop laughing, you insensitive jerks...

Comedy is sometimes like an equation. Two things that may or may not be funny by themselves are hysterical when added together.

Click play on both of these videos at the same time:

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I wasn't hallucinating after all...

While poking around the Intarwebs, I found proof of something that, outside of my brother, I've never heard anyone else know of it.

I watched a lot of Disney Channel programming when it debuted way back in the days of stone knives and bear skins. There was Good Morning, Mickey, Mousercise, and Donald Duck Presents, among other shows.

But a show that I had only the faintest memory of--presumably because it didn't last very long--was a Disney game show called Contraption.

Looking back, it was sorta like a weak Disney Double Dare (only before DD existed): there were two teams of kids, questions (about Disney movies, with video clips) and semi-physical challenges.

For answering questions and winning events, teams were awarded "contraptiles," translucent plastic tiles that I presume were supposed to look futuristic. I always had a feeling that there should've been some kind of Mouse Trap-like end game, but no, the tiles just got stacked to see which team earned more.

It seems kinda cheesy now, but it is a nice reminder of when the Disney Channel actually had programming for the whole family, not just the tweens who seem to be their sole demographic target these days. Aside from like 2 hours in the morning, devoted to preschoolers.

The best part is the prize package: record albums, LED Tron tabletop game, tickets to Disneyland (when they still had A through E tickets, from the looks of it, and the grand prize, a TI-99 home computer system.

Here is one episode in four parts. My thanks to the uploader, and as always with YouTube videos, check em out while they're still up.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Phase One: In which we rickroll a desk

I am, by nature, a mischievous sort.

The little jackass kid who, out of sight, bends the garden hose, cutting off the water until you look into it to see why the water's not flowing? Me.

One of a pair of doofuses who hide the teacher's podium? Guilty.

So it really shouldn't come as a surprise that I like messing with people from time to time. Because it's been run into the ground, I've been rickrolling my cohorts at work.

If you aren't 12 and haven't done this, it's a barely updated version of "Made You Look!"

If you want a detailed explanation of the phenomenon, you can go here.

Right, so even though we all know about how annoying and lame rickrolling is, we like to see how many times we can catch each other with it.

It's hard for me to rickroll my pal Karyne, since she sits right next to me at work. This isn't to say that I haven't done so a number of times, as has she.

We're not that bright sometimes.

But my pal Bonnie works a floor below me, so she can't see me giggling furiously as I send her a link via IM. It goes a little something like this (hit it!):

Me: Did you ever watch the Monchichis?

Bonnie: I think so.

Me: Here's the opening:

Bonnie: You suck!

So after a few weeks of this, I realized that I'd pretty much taken it as far as I could.

Until I found out that she was going to be off for a few days.

This, alas, is about as mobile as I get.

This looks like it took a long time, but I assure you, I am far too lazy; my kindergarten craft/MacGyver skills helped get this done in mere minutes.

And Karyne helped with the scissors.

With our supplies ready, we headed down to her desk and redecorated. Like Extreme Makeover Home Edition without the malady of the week. (I talk smack about it, but I watch it and get misty when they help a sick kid. I am a big wuss.)

Too much?

Not too shabby, eh?

Our work finished on a Friday, I had the whole weekend to bask in my awesomositinessitude. On Saturday morning, I put XM 80s on the TV in the living room to listen to some choice tunes with the kids. I usually listen on Sundays (for American Top 40, natch), but I just got the impulse to do it.


That song was on.

Rickrolled by God.

I took it as a sign that even God thought rickrolling someone's desk was funny. I already know God is a prankster; it's the only thing that explains my hair.

So I just had to wait until this morning till Bonnie returned.

Me: Welcome back!


Bonnie: May I have a word with you?

She was a good sport about her desk being transformed into a Rick Astley shrine.

Here, she thanks me for my effort:

This doesn't look at all staged.

But, as she reminded me, in the words of William Shakespeare, "revenge is a biznatch."


Monday, March 03, 2008

You heard it here first

While I haven't had a chance to see Will Ferrell's Semi-Pro just yet, I decided to get ready for his next sports-related movie.

It doesn't actually exist, but dammit, it should.

The premise: Will Ferrell plays a former badminton pro who comes out of retirement to coach the U.S. Olympic team so they can beat the Chinese team and prove badminton isn't just a backyard barbecue sport.

The title: Shuttlecocks.