Apply directly to the ...

OK, I think we've all suffered and seen the commercial for HeadOn.

"HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn -- apply directly to the forehead."

They even know that the commercial is annoying; they try to make fun of how annoying it is. No dice. Even more annoying.

These days, they've got ActiveOn, which is a pain reliever of sorts (I think), and FirstOn, an itch ointment. Clearly they are trying to branch out and expand their offerings.

So that got me to wondering where exactly they're going to go next.

Then it hit me: herbal male enhancement pills -- that's the big thing these days, right?

But what could they call it?

Hmm...

Okay, I'm bound to think of something. Just give me a few minutes...

Wild about Harry

I'm wearing my Chewbacca T-shirt in honor of my son, Harry, who would have turned 2 today.

Chances are you never got to meet him; we barely did ourselves. But I admired both his tendency to get hungry exactly a half-hour before it was time to eat and his luxurious mane of hair.

Really. He didn't have just a good amount of hair; he had a mop of Charles Ingallsian proportions.

I still think about him every day, and every now and then I wonder if he's messing with me, whether it's a butterfly dive-bombing me just as I walk out the door or the number on my McDonald's receipt being his birthday.

I'll get back to the off-color jokes and pop-culture memories later. Until then, raise a glass, mug or paper-bag-wrapped bottle (depending how your day is going) and toast my favorite Wookiee.

Apparently not.

I have two things to say about Fox's game show, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

1. I learned of it during a commercial break from a NASCAR race (Brody likes to watch for the first 10 minutes or so). Draw your own conclusions about what Fox thinks of NASCAR fans. I bet they didn't advertise on the National Geographic channel.

2. Fifth-grader should be hyphenated.

The fever for the flavor

Did she just say "Once you taste the fluffer?" Discuss.