Updates, updates, updates...

Okay, so Halloween went off without a hitch. Brody dressed up as Bob the Builder and pillaged the neighborhood, securing regulation-size candy (in this case, a bag of peanut M&Ms) for two years in a row.

Even better, Brody still doesn't like candy, so more for me, Jen, and my co-workers. He did pretty good about not going in people's houses, and he got to go trick-or-treating with his cousin, so he was happy about that.

And speaking of candy, I may as well update the whole "Jeff is too lazy to buy new clothes, so he's trying to lose weight" thing. Well, as of this morning, I've lost 15 pounds without the aid of amputation, laxatives or cholera.

The irony is that I'm going to have to buy clothes anyway because my pants are too big in the waist, even with my belt. Oh well. It's been pretty easy to stick with my modified diet because it's all just a matter of math. If I eat something "bad," I make up for it later without just skipping the meal entirely.

I'm sure I could still be more selective in what provides the calories I consume, but I have to take it a little at a time.

The next entrant into the great Bad Movies from A to Z sweepstakes should be arriving courtesy of Netflix any day now. I won't say anything about it except that there's a really good chance you haven't seen it. Or if you have, you'd probably deny it.

And one more thing consuming what little spare time I've got is Guitar Hero III, which was a birthday present from my awesome wife (it's not till tomorrow, but she wanted me to have a chance to play it over the weekend). I LOVE this game. And I also love that I will have a chance to kick my friend Karyne's ass at it next time we have a video game night.

Instead of disappearing behind sunglasses, earphones and a thick book on the morning BART commute, I am embarking on that little exercise in futility I like to call NaNoWriMo. During National Novel Writing Month, I am endeavoring to complete a 50,000-word novel.

I know, you're probably thinking, "Lots of luck, skinhead; didn't you fail at this for the last two years running?"

True. And there's a good chance I won't make it again this year, especially now that I've got a baby (and Guitar Hero III) around. But as long as I get a seat on the train, I've got a good 30 to 45 minutes of writing each way. I'm up to about 3,800 words so far, and I kinda like the story, so even if I don't finish it by the end of the month, I would like to see how it all turns out.

God knows blog updates aren't consuming much of my time these days...

This issue: Man boobs no more!

I know what you're thinking. More me would mean more wonderfulness to love, right?

Alas, in actuality, it just means man boobs and a bunch of shirts that don't fit me anymore. Which is a stone-cold drag, because I've got a lot of shirts that I'd love to wear.

Plus I don't really like shopping for clothes very much. But still, where else are you going to find a shirt that says, in Cooper Black, mind you, "Don't mess with my Stumpy"? Exactly.

And given that my daughter is growing by leaps and bounds every day, it's not going to be too much longer before I have to chase after her and her brother.

So now I'm trying to watch what I eat. Not just watching it go from my hand into my mouth, either. This sucks, because by watching my caloric intake, I have to avoid high-calorie foods (unless those 2 Oreo Cakesters are the only thing I eat all day) and I have to use math.

I'm even doing a teeny-tiny bit of exercise. Yeah, I could join a gym, but if I wanted to spend money on something I wouldn't use in a million years, I'd buy "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" on DVD. So to start slowly, my friend and I are walking during our lunch break, which, given my normal propensity for activity, is almost like participating in a dodecathlon.

On stilts.

In addition to getting a whole wardrobe out of storage, I guess it'll be nice to be a little healthier, too. Assuming I don't get struck by lightning. We'll see how far I get with this.

But I am learning things. Much to my amazement, Quaker Rice Snacks are actually quite tasty. I'd always imagined they tasted like Styrofoam ass (not that I'm a connoisseur of that particular dish myself, but you know what I mean), but I was wrong. They're actually good. Not as good as say, Oreo Cakesters or a Three Musketeers bar, or a pint of Ben and Jerry's S'mores ice cream, or --

Crap. Now I'm hungry again.

Assuming I don't totally blow off this diet after it pisses me off and I eat packet after packet of cinnamon roll icing, I'll post my progress. If I fall off the wagon, you can expect a few YouTube clips and no mention of a diet ever again.