Saturday, August 30, 2008

Math is for eggheads!

Every now and then I share stuff with my son that I enjoyed a lot when I was a kid. His newest favorite is Donald in Mathmagic Land. I remember seeing this in school fairly early in my scholastic career--it was on a film reel rather than a videotape.

He's quoting it already, which is very cute. His favorite parts are the billiards demonstration and the "doors of the future."

Check it out for yourself.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Today is canceled due to illness.

Nothing like a little food poisoning to kick off a three-day weekend. Hopefully I'll be over it soon. Blech.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Once you've had extra-crispy...

Saw this on Topless Robot, and it was too good to pass up.

Hope they didn't buy any green bananas...

Really? This got signed off without anybody thinking it was a trifle peculiar to have an action figure set where the characters are facing imminent death? Maybe they just thought, yeah, it's creepy, but at least it's not this:

The perfect gift for Ash Wednesday?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Exercises in frustration

OK, so back in the day, I played craptons of games on my Commodore 64. One that used to just drive me nuts was Aliens.

I eventually got decent at it, but it took forever and a day to get past the first level, which was the spaceship re-entry procedure. You had to maneuver through a series of rings that, I assume, represented the safest trajectory for your ship through atmospheric re-entry.

At first it seems pretty easy, but once you run into turbulence, the rings are farther apart, and more scattered. Miss a ring, and you're pretty much screwed because you'll have to start over from the beginning.

This particular gameplay "feature" would come back to bite me in the ass with Superman 64, a game that I actually asked for. On purpose.

How bad is it? Ask the Angry Video Game Nerd. He pretty much says it all. But if you doubt his opinion, try looking up "Superman 64 sucks" on Google.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

There's always room for cello

When I was in fourth grade, we had a music assembly in the multipurpose room. It was their annual orchestra recruitment assembly where they'd tell us that we could have fun in the orchestra, bla bla bla.

Naturally, piano wasn't one of the options (I played a mean electronic organ at home), so I wasn't paying that much attention. For some reason, fourth-graders could only play stringed instruments such as the violin.

They gave us a demonstration of the various instruments, and still, I wasn't interested.

Until the guy with the cello showed up.

I was intrigued by the fact that, unlike most of the other instruments, to play the cello meant you got to sit down.

Hey, I'm lazy.

But what really sold me was when he started playing the theme to Star Wars on it. How badass was that? I'd be the life of the party in no time.

Now there were a few obstacles in my way here. The instruments, I'd heard from friends, were very expensive, and being a total klutz, I knew there was no way I could convince my parents to buy me a cello outright.

Oh, and there was the small matter of me never having played the cello or any other stringed instrument, unless you counted the Mousegetar I had when I was 4.

There was essentially one way for me to be able to play cello in the orchestra. There was a district-wide music test that would be given in all the schools, and the top students would be allowed to use the district-owned instruments.

And out of all the students interested, only two in our school would get the cellos. So the odds weren't exactly in my favor.

The day of the test came, and we musical wannabes filed into the multipurpose room and did our best.

As it ended up, the two students who got the district's cellos were my friend Erin and me. Don't ask me how I was a top scorer. To this day, I have no idea.

And while I never learned how to play Star Wars (apparently you can't just start with that; who knew?), I was still excited to play in a school recital.

How excited?


Yep. About that excited. How I ever ended up getting married is beyond me.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Stupid Internet. Bah!

As I spent most of the night trying to revive my Internet connection, I'm fresh out of time to regale you with a pointless tale from yesteryear.

But I don't want you to go away empty-handed, so here, providing just about the same level of maturity, is an episode of Jackass.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Let's be careful out there

With school starting for the youngsters, I thought it might be a good idea to review some basic rules of bicycle safety.

Since I fell off my bike almost every time I rode, I thought maybe I should leave the safety tips to someone else more qualified.

Like YouTube.