Saturday, June 21, 2008

Today's inspirational thought

A giraffe walks into a bar.

"High balls are on me!"

Friday, June 20, 2008

I have a bad feeling about this...

This will overlap some stuff, but that's OK.

UPDATED: has been shut down by the Lucasfilm Buzzkill Brigade, alas. Well, it made me laugh while it was up.

(That's what she said.)

Best cookie ever?

The DoubleStuf Oreo is for wussies.


Defib paddles not included.

The OctupleStuf. Snack of champions.

And guys who have to much spare time at lunch.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Because it's always funny

We've all killed time playing cute platform puzzle games by now. But now here's a question: how do you make one that I will play for more than 2 minutes?

If you answered "boobs," you get half credit for knowing me that well.

However, if you answered "Puzzle Farter," give yourself a prize.

No, really.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Crossword results: Fountains of win

How did you do on the crossword challenge?

I actually had to consult two reference books--which meant I had to go all the way down into the garage--but I managed to finish it all without the use of the Internet, just like the pioneers did all those years ago.

It's somehow fitting that one of the answers in the puzzle was "ass." At least, my wife thinks so.

Here's my work, screw-ups and all:

Behold my mad TV Guide crossword skillz, ye mighty, and despair.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Jeff's No-Internet Challenge!

Okay, technically, it's mostly a challenge for me, but if you want to join in the fun, have at it. Here's the deal:

Below, I have scanned in a TV Guide crossword from the week of Nov. 2, 1974. Yes, I'm that much of a nerd that I have a copy of the TV Guide that was current the day I was born, right down to the right regional edition. But that's not important right now.

TV Guide puzzles, by and large, are not known for their difficulty. However, how would I fare at one that demanded pop culture knowledge from 33 and a half years ago? And just to make it interesting, I can't use any Internet resources; only whatever would've been at my disposal back in 1974.

Like I said, you can give it a shot yourself. I'll be back tomorrow to see how we all did. Let me know how you did in the comments if you'd like.

Four-letter word for pathetic loser, ends in E-F-F.

Monday, June 16, 2008

How young is too young to be manipulative?

Kids will get into stuff no matter how much you have kidproofed your house. I stayed home with the kids today, and my daughter was trying to get into everything.

To try to express the importance of not doing such things, I raised my voice--not in an evil-sounding way.

Now keep in mind that she's 10 months old, so she's not much of a conversationalist.

After I picked her up and moved her into the living room, I told her that I didn't want her to get into that stuff because she could get hurt.

She looked at me, smiled widely and gave me a big kiss.

And then went right back where I told her not to go.


Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

No pithy comments today. Just sincere Happy Father's Day wishes.