Hey there, vampire lovers

My cold is finally gone. Birthday extravaganzas have been completed. NaNoWriMo block is in full effect. Sounds like it's a perfect time to come on back to blogland for a landmark 250th post. Just think how many posts I'd have if I was a real blogger, huh?

I've been thinking of vampires (part of the fun of said NaNoWriMo project) lately, so I thought it interesting that this is coming out soon. Thankfully, it doesn't sound similar to what I'm doing, so that makes me even more interested.

"Slayer" is not, as you might have thought, a biopic about the metal band.

Instead, it is "a story of a company of soldiers sent on a mission into the South American jungle where they discover a new breed of vampire, deadly by day as well as by night!"

I've never much cared for vampires, but like I said, I've been working with one as a character, and now I'm interested in different takes on vampires in general. This sounds pretty interesting.

"Slayer begins when a peace-keeping army is dispatched to a remote jungle in South America to investigate a series of horrific attacks. Headed by Captain Tom 'Hawk' Hawkins (Casper Van Dien) and his second-in-command Grieves (Kevin Grevioux – 'Underworld,' 'Angel,' 'Bowfinger'), the squad finds itself in a deadly confrontation with a nest of vampires impervious to daylight. And these vampires are growing in number, for they have gone beyond preying on the local villagers. Now they are directing their thirst towards Hawk's fellow officers, intent on absorbing their military knowledge for their own bloody campaign!"

Also starring in the film is Lynda Carter, which is reason enough right there to look into this.


I repeat: Lynda Carter.

This was written and directed by Kevin VanHook, who also brought us "Voodoo Moon." It hits shelves near you on Nov. 21, courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment, which would occupy a special place in my heart even if they only released the extended cut of "Supergirl," let alone all the other stuff they've put out.

As usual, there are a host of extras, including commentary, galleries and the script. If you can't wait to see what I do with vampires, you might want to check this out.

And given my paltry progress on my book so far, you'd better just check it out anyway.

Hey, it's Halloween already

Making funny horror movies isn't always an easy proposition.

In my days of renting nothing but horror flicks from the video stores, I fondly remember Rolfe Kanefsky's "There's Nothing Out There," which contained a lot of riffs on horror cliches that predated "Scream" by a good couple of years.

I thought it went a bit overboard near the end when a character uses a boom mike that he pulls from out of frame, but other than that, good times.

And back in the day (as the kids used to say back in the day), there was "Student Bodies," a full-blown horror spoof. Given how old I was when I saw it on video (or cable, I can't remember), just the scene where a dog farts for no reason was more than enough to keep me laughing.

On Nov. 7, Anchor Bay will offer up "Freak Out" from director Christian James. It's already won some awards, and it sounds like it will be fun:

Turning the great horror movie clichés on their severed ears, Freak Out opens like all great slasher films -- with a flashback of an incidental character. Young Cliff is being dropped off at school by his alcoholic mother, only to be tormented by his teacher and peers. Thirteen years later, Cliff escapes from a mental institution to find that the school that he vowed revenge on is no longer standing. Disappointed and with nowhere to go, Cliff wanders onto the doorstep of horror film addicts Merv and his best friend Onkey. With visions of slashers and maniacs and box-office grosses (oh my!) dancing in their heads, wannabe schlock kings Merv and Onkey fit Cliff with a potato sack on his head and cover his face with a hockey mask, transforming him into the ultimate homicidal filmaniac. Things soon take a turn for the worst after the killer “finds his groove,” dispatching shoppers and employees alike in a supermarket. With their Frankenstein officially out of control – killing everyone in sight -- Marv and Onkey start to have second thoughts. Can they stop their own creation or are they – and the town -- doomed?

The 2-disc set will also feature a host of extras and commentaries, so it looks like you get a lot of bang for your buck.

Voodoo Moon

There are certain actors whose work I almost always enjoy. Consequently, I'll often watch things based solely on the appearance of one of those actors.

So when I found out that Jeffrey Combs will be in the upcoming release from Anchor Bay, "Voodoo Moon," it got my attention. Heck, I caught an episode of "CSI" the other day with him in it. His first listed credit on IMDB is a small part in "Honky Tonk Freeway," a movie from 1981 that I remember solely because a little kid (Peter Billingsley of "A Christmas Story" fame) pees on the side of the road, which I found supremely funny at the time. I should add that I was about 6 or 7 at the time.

Anyhow, here's the synopsis from the press release:

Twenty years ago, a demonic massacre in a sleepy Southern town left two young siblings as the lone survivors. But for adult Cole (Eric Mabius) and his younger sister Heather (Charisma Carpenter), an obsession with their parents' satanic slaughter has lasted a lifetime. Now through Cole's psychic connection with a group that includes an outlaw biker (John Amos, "The West Wing," "Die Hard 2: Die Harder"), a traumatized cop (Jeffrey Combs, "Re-Animator") and a mysterious healer (Dee Wallace , "Cujo" and "The Howling"), vengeance is about to take a very unholy turn. Tonight they will all be brought together in a place where depraved secrets are exposed, legions of the damned are unleashed, and the final battle between Good and Evil will be fought beneath the Voodoo Moon…

As Abraham Lincoln once said, "For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like." That's exactly how I feel about the movies I watch.

Something to look forward to

Coolness.

I just found out that a movie I've been wanting to see for a long time is coming out on DVD next month, thanks to Anchor Bay (who also made it possible for me to see a special edition DVD of "Supergirl").

I first read about "Cemetery Man" (also known as "Dellamorte Dellamore") in one of the many cult/sci-fi/horror movie review books I have, and it really intrigued me. Alas, the video store selection at the time was not as diverse as I'd've liked, and (this was before Netflix) I didn't end up getting to check it out.

What's it about? Well, quoth the press release:

Directed by Michele Soavi, Cemetery Man stars Rupert Everett (My Best Friend's Wedding and the voice of Prince Charming in Shrek 2 ) as Francesco Dellamore, a cemetery caretaker who finds that his seemingly dead-end job has recently become a little harder. Along with his sidekick Gnaghi (Francois Hadji-Lazaro), Francesco spends his days interning corpses and his nights killing “returners” – those who have risen from their grave seven days after burial. Life changes for Francesco when he falls for a beautiful, mysterious widow (Anna Falchi). When fate intervenes, Francesco must choose between Love Eternal and the Living Dead…

I'm not a huge zombie fan, but this sounded pretty cool. It hits your favorite movie store shelf on June 13.

Well, that's great, Sparkman, you're probably saying, but are there any special features on the disc?

* Widescreen Presentation (1.66:1), enhanced for 16x9 TVs
* Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound
* Death is Beautiful: The Making of Cemetery Man featuring all-new cast and crew interviews including director Michele Soavi, star Anna Falchi and more
* Michele Soavi Bio
* Trailers

It looks like a cool flick, and I'm looking forward to checking it out.