Do something, Fruit Pie the Magician!

Here we see my pal, Fruit Pie the Magician in action. Clearly, not his finest moment.

Save the clock tower Fruit Pie the Magician!

I like to support worthwhile endeavors when possible (read: when it requires little actual effort on my part).

So when I learned of the Save Fruit Pie the Magician campaign, I figured I'd try to spread the word. Please pardon the crudeness of my Sharpie likeness.

I always liked Fruit Pie the Magician. Better than Twinkie the Kid, at any rate. Don't get me wrong; The Kid is a nice enough fellow, but he just seems a little too eager, you know?

Fruit Pie just seemed a little more badass, even despite being saddled with the name Fruit Pie. He was also a magician, but I think he just conjured up fruit pies for little kids to eat. Now think about that. He is a living breathing fruit pie, and he gives little kids smaller replicas of himself (nonsentient, of course) to eat. And not once does he look a little uneasy about that.

A few years ago, when I used to get a Hostess fruit pie almost every day at work, I'd cut out the images of FPtM from the empty packages and tape them to my monitor. Within a few days, it looked like a miniature shrine.

These days, Hostess has changed the wrapper for their line of pies, and our boy Fruit Pie got the heave-ho. Instead, they use a bland design. Clearly, no one at Hostess asked me what I thought. If they had, not only would FPtM be on the wrappers, but they'd also be making the pudding pies again.

The new wrapper, which I presume was designed to make them stand out on the shelves, has (for me, anyway) the opposite effect. I keep thinking they're the store brand or other off-brand pies.

Compare this:

with this:


Way to go, Hostess.

Schmucks.