Hot, hot heat

While we were out yesterday, the thermometer in the car said it was 108 degrees outside. When it's that hot, there's really only one thing you can do.

Slip N Slide!

Alas, it's not meant to be. According to the box for the Splash Dunk Slip N Slide, it is designed for ages 5-12, up to 110 lbs. That weight restriction would've gotten me about midway through my sophomore year in high school, but now, I'm just a little bit heavier.

They have an adult version of the classic Big Wheel, but no big-kids size Slip N Slide. Presumably, grown-ups don't want to ruin their lawns.

That was the reason I never had one when I was a kid. I was a very deprived child. I had every toy in Toys R Us except for a Slip N Slide, a Big Wheel and Legos. I did have Loc Blocs, but that's like comparing a Mustang to a Gremlin -- with a busted axle.

I had a few friends who had the toys that I didn't, and before you ask, no, that's not why they were my friends.

They had Bubble Yum, too.

Seriously, many a summer day was spent slipping and sliding on someone else's lawn. There was a lot of preparation involved. You had to lay out the track just right -- no wrinkles or folds. Depending on how many kids you had around, you'd invariably have to talk one kid out of trying to set up a ramp.

And despite all this preparation, I'd still always be the hapless schmuck who hit the theretofore-undiscovered rock under the Slip N Slide. I'm sure I have little jagged scars up my sides to this day.

We didn't have a large Big Wheel community in my neighborhood. The closest person I knew who had one was my cousin, who graciously allowed me to ride hers when I went to visit.

And didn't I look like one of Hell's Angels on the Barbie Powder Puff Big Wheel?

They still sell Big Wheels; soon I'll be shopping for one for my son. So far, I haven't seen any with the spinout lever, but I'm sure he'll just be happy that it's not pink.

I can tell I'm growing up a little. I haven't tried talking my wife into letting me buy the adult Big Wheel.

Well, not that many times, anyway.

Today.