Monday, November 14, 2005

Can't get you out of my head

If I had a nickel for every dumb thing I remembered from an old TV show or movie, I could probably buy them all on DVD.

The space in my brain that could be used for remembering such things as where I put the keys or what my son's name is (just kidding; it's Poindexter) is instead taken up by sometimes frighteningly useless pieces of entertainment history.

I've been lucky in that with the advent of DVD, a lot of this pop culture detritus is effectively exorcised from my head. It's like once my mind knows that there's a backup copy, it stops running at inopertune moments.

But there's still a lot that needs exorcising.

For example, when I was but a wee lad, HBO or Showtime broadcast a Barry Manilow concert. From what I remember, it seemed to cover a lot of the ground that the Barry Manilow Live album (which we had on a light blue 8-track tape) did.

There's a part called the VSM: Very Strange Medley. In it, he'd do a medley of various commercial jingles he'd worked on. I loved that part, because, well, even then, I was obsessed with commercials and commercial jingles.

But on the TV concert, there was a portion of that VSM that wasn't included on the record. Barry talks about some failed jingles that he wrote, but for some reason weren't accepted. And here's the part that, to this day, I remember vividly:

When that jar of peanut butter goes crashing on the floor, and it gets smooshed into the carpet by the brat who lives next door, don't reach for the broom and dustpan, or the old Electrolux. For value and good service,

Hoover ...

really...

sucks.


Now I don't know if that's verbatim, but that's what plays in my mind on a too-constant basis. What would be swell is if this was on DVD so I could cast it away. But my two minutes of extensive research was fruitless, and I didn't see it on Netflix, either. I suppose I could look for a tape of it on eBay, but I don't know if I really want to go to that much trouble.

Besides, even if I managed to get it out of my head, It would probably be replaced with "Pop Goes the World" by Men Without Hats or something.

Now that really sucks.

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