Friday, January 20, 2006

No, not that movie with John Lithgow...

I caught the first half of an interesting documentary called "Raising Cain: Boys in Focus". It's about emotional development in boys these days and the problems they have in school.

The first part dealt mostly with pre-high-school, and seeing some of the kids, it reminded me how amazingly alien they are. And I totally don't mean this in a disparaging way; it's fascinating. The way they interpret and synthesize the information they get surprises me.

It's like 1 + 1 = CANTALOUPE!!!

Brody's going to be 3 in May, and I wonder what he's going to be like as he gets older. Right now, he's unusually well-mannered. He says "please" and "thank you" most of the time without any prompting, and when he refuses food (90% of the time), he says "No, thank you."

This, despite the fact that he spends his days with his old man.

He's very affectionate; he loves hugs and kisses. He asks for "threekiss," which is when Jen and I both kiss him on his cheek. And when you get a hug, he says, "Squeeze hard!"

So watching the documentary gave me a whole new set of things to worry about, not the least of which is hoping he doesn't end up like me.

When Michael Thompson, who wrote the book on which the documentary is based, asks a 13-year-old outcast some of the names his peers call him, I called them all out before he did. You never forget, I guess.

Like riding a bicycle.

One that calls you names.

I see in Brody different parts of Jen and me. He's blindingly smart; he makes connections between things that neither of us expect. He gets that from her, I think. He's also as cute as the dickens, which he also gets from Mom. But he seems to have pretty good retention for details, which is my blessing and my curse. Hopefully he won't be burdened with lyrics to 25-year-old gum commercials locked in his head.

If he does, he can always get his skis shined up, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit -- the taste is gonna move him.

I just hope he's not as introverted as I am. As I mentioned the other day, I'm still quite shy. Shyness, I've found, is a malady on par with "a case of the vapors" in terms of people taking it seriously. One of the few things more aggravating than being shy and seemingly unable to change it is being told to "just stop being shy," which seems like telling an anorexic to "just eat a sandwich."

I'm keen to see the rest of the documentary, even though I'm sure it will give me still more things to worry about.

If I'm lucky, it'll crowd out the Juicy Fruit song.

1 comment:

  1. I saw that. It was really good. I have 2 sons and after seeing that, I don't think I'll be giving either of them the keys to the car until they're over 25. *lol* Though I can't honestly say that I'd give the girls the keys either.

    It was actually nice to see an inside view to a boys personalitiy and how society plays a major role in shaping it. My dh was once a "street rat", so I know he knows a few tricks of the trade to where I grew up fairly sheltered.

    My hubby tells me all the time that I shelter our kids, so I tend to worry about them. Sorry, I'm rambling.

    I'm sure Brody will turn out to be a wonderful young man. After all, he has you and Jen as his parents and his little brother Harry watching over him every step of the way.