Your purple prose just gives you away

I thought I'd hallucinated it, but apparently not, because I've seen it a half-dozen times in the last week, once in the presence of another person.

I remember people of my parents' generation bemoaning the use of songs from their youth for cheesy commercials. I rolled my eyes and thought that I'd be mildly pleased to hear certain songs in conjunction with selling products. It was going to happen, but surely the next generation would find a way to do it in a way that wasn't so blisteringly stupid.

Yeah.

So now we have a commercial for Kraft Crumbles, which, if the commercial is to be believed, are "crumbelievable."

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: Dude, remember that EMF song from high school? We totally got a good deal on using it!

Ostensibly creative ad person 2: Sweet, but I'm trying to think of something for these Kraft Crumbles. It's due tomorrow.

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: Well, use the song.

Ostensibly creative ad person 2: It's cheese. How is cheese unbelievable?

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: We already paid for it.

Ostensibly creative ad person 2: Crap.

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: Yeah. Oh, wait, I've got it! They're "crumbelievable!"

Ostensibly creative ad person 2: What the hell does that mean? Crumbelievable.

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: It means, I don't know, crumbelievable. What do you want?

Ostensibly creative ad person 2: Something that doesn't suck would be nice.

Ostensibly creative ad person 1: Well, we'll have to settle for something that's done.

Ostensibly creative ad person 2, muttering: Crumbelievable, rassen-frassen...

That's how I like to think it happened, anyway. I could've also lived without hearing faux-Go-Gos singing "We Got the Meat" for whatever pizza place that was.

I'm just worried that this trend will continue, using songs with only the most tenuous connection to the products. Could these examples be too far behind?

Ring of Fire -- Preparation H

Boogie Oogie Oogie -- Kleenex tissues

Wind Beneath My Wings -- Beano

Don't Worry Be Happy -- Prozac

Having My Baby -- EPT

I Just Wanna Stop -- Pepto-Bismol

Pump Up The Jam -- Smucker's (in a new pump dispenser)

Release Me -- Ex-Lax

Smells Like Teen Spirit -- Teen Spirit deodorant

Check Yo Self -- Self-examination health public service announcement

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm -- Campbell's Soup

Push th' Little Daisies -- Victoria's Secret (from my friend Ken)

Straight Up -- Viagra

Feel free to add your own.