The two great tastes that--okay, maybe not.

I was thinking of those commercials for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; the ones that say there's no wrong way to eat one. I say they just haven't used their imaginations. With that in mind, I offer you:

The Top 13 Wrong Ways to Eat a Reese's
13. Atom by atom.
12. Sharing it with a piranha.
11. On a hamburger.
10. Off the blades of a whirling blender.
9. Flambe.
8. While knowing you're allergic to peanuts.
7. In front of Batman. Mofo loves him some Reese's.
6. During your tristate killing spree.
5. When you're expecting guests in R'lyeh; the chocolate gets all over your face tentacles. (Note: This only applies if you are Cthulhu.)
4. While running naked through PetSmart (that's according to the cops, anyway).
3. Off a hooker's ass (according to my wife).
2. Like Brundlefly.
1. Rectally.