The mane problem

I'm always complaining about my hair's endangered species status. I used to have a lot of hair, and it was thick. Now, not so much.

Lately, my wife has been suggesting that I just go all the way and shave my head completely. This is due mostly to the fact that one of the dreamy "American Idol" contestants has done the same thing.

That's great and all, but I don't think she's seeing the whole picture.

My wife, bless her heart, thinks I'll look like this:


And my mental picture of the same situation:


My two objections to shaving my head: I don't get out in the sun much and am consequently a bit pasty, and I need to lose a few pounds.

I mean really, if I shave my head now, all I need is a little chef's hat and people will start poking my belly and asking for fresh croissants.