New Year's Day.
A time when millions across the world slowly raise their heads -- a great effort given that they feel as though they are composed primarily of lead -- and regale the new year with a hearty, "Oh, dear God, I think I just threw up a file cabinet."
A time when you notice every sound the new morning has to bring, like the birds outside that JUST WILL NOT SHUT UP.
Out of deference to those of you who are trying to hide lampshade indentations with some makeup or are wondering exactly whose clothes you're wearing, I'm trying to type as quietly as I can.
For those of you who didn't enjoy late-night festivities because you either had to work the next morning or your name is possibly on a special list at your local police department, try to be supportive.
Laugh at them quietly.
ROFLMAO. God that was funny.
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