Thursday, July 24, 2008

One of the best things about TV Guide

I recently nabbed a 1984 Fall Preview TV Guide off of eBay, and I noticed that the infamous Turbo Teen premiered that week. I scanned the page so you wouldn't think I was making this up:

Let TV Guide help you decide.

"Debut: Teen-ager Bret Matthews turns into a turbocharged racer whenever his temperature rises."

How many times did they have to try to summarize this without sounding like they were on drugs? By using the phrase "turbocharged racer," one could think that he was able to run really fast instead of turning into a friggin' car.

For some reason, ABC debuted its fall offerings this week, while CBS and NBC waited until the following week, hence the teaser ad for The Snorks also on this page.

Even when we were kids, we recognized The Snorks as a shameless ripoff of The Smurfs. Sure, they came in different colors and had phalluses on their heads (yeah, I know they were supposed to be snorkels, but come on), but still, we knew this was weak sauce.

Of course, we all thought Turbo Teen was badass, so maybe we weren't the best arbiters of quality programming...