Monday, August 15, 2005

Thinking too hard?

I read a story in this morning's paper about how this summer's crop of action movies aren't doing so well.

Says "Stealth" director Rob Cohen,

"You had Ridley Scott with 'Kingdom of Heaven,' and Michael Bay ('The Island') gave you cloning. I don't think this generation sources their heroes in this arena. Maybe they'll source their heroes as two guys who crash weddings so they can have sex with vulnerable girls. ... Action films are usually about the male hero, and if you live in a time when you don't believe in heroes, it makes it difficult ... (to) make action films as they've been traditionally defined."

I know this sounds crazy, but could it be that people aren't coming in droves to see these movies because they, well, suck?

To be fair, I have seen very few movies this summer. One, actually -- the new Batman flick, which I thought was pretty decent.

But I've seen enough bad movies to know what I will and won't like. For starters, if you have a theoretically unique plot twist in your movie, maybe you should save it for the movie instead of blowing it in the promos.

It's gotten to the point where the entertainment I derive from movies is trying to guess which character is going to fulfill the formula requirements. Every now and then, they'll get tricky and make a different character do it, which is cool for a second before I remember that they're still making the movie by the numbers.

That's why I tend to watch the stuff I do. I already know that most of them are pretty bad, but I can honestly say that I'm more surprised by cheesy horror and sci-fi movies than with most Hollywood offerings.

I mean, when a guy wakes up to find that he has a giant papier mache turkey head, you've got to give them some kind of credit.

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